Tag
by bluebakerbay
Summary: Downtime between missions can get boring. Shepard decides to introduce the human game of tag to the crew. Hopeful hilarity ensues. Not just first fanfic, but first time ever writing for fun. If you like it, I might add more chapters! If not then I'll just go hide under a rock or something.


"Tag?" The word felt odd and foreign to Garrus' mouth as he sounded it out. "Yep, Tag." Replied Shepard with a smug smile, as if this one word could clearly describe the mayhem that Garrus had just come across. The NormandySR2 was en route to Ilos, scheduled to arrive in another two weeks. The latest mission had been a rescue of a young Asari child. As the daughter of a very influential diplomat she made a prime target for ransoming. The Vorcha thugs didn't count on the family calling Shepard however. There was no safer place for the Asari child to be than in the Normandy… or so he thought. Just as he exited the main battery headed for the kitchen he spotted little Teela sprint towards him, only to be brutally tackled to the ground by none other than Shepard herself.

Tag. Right.

"Perhaps you would like to explain this 'tag'?" asked Garrus, using air quotations with his three fingered hands. "Oh it's real simple!" said Teela. She had risen from her sprawled position and was beginning to walk up to him. She clasped her hands behind her back and gave a strangely unnerving smile up at him. "The main rule is to avoid the person who is 'it'. If they touch you then you're it!" Garrus slowly nodded his head, beginning to understand. "Ah, a classic predator vs. prey exercise. Yes, we have something like that on Palaven." He paused to look down at Teela who was now directly in front of him.

"Yep! It's super fun! Anyone can play! For example-"Suddenly her hand reached out and slapped Garrus on the chest plate. Hard. "Tag! You're it!" Both she and Shepard were gone in a blink of the eye. Garrus chuckled as he watched them run off. He could tell that this was going to be fun.

_Boom!_ Miranda heaved an exasperated sigh. She didn't know what was going on out in the crew deck, but she was going to put an end to it. She had enough work to deal with and the racket wasn't helping. She was sure Commander Shepard would have a few words to say if she heard such noise. The door whished open as she stepped out and turned around the corner, already pinching the bridge of her nose to control her temper. The resounding retort was bit back, however, as she came to a startling halt at the sight in front of her. Grunt, Thane, Garrus, Jack, and some of the other crew members were running for their lives from-

"Wait, Shepard?" Shepard paused and turned her head to look at her, a feral grin gracing her features. "Oh, hi Miranda, so nice of you to join us!" Shepard began stalking towards her.

"Run Cheerleader! Run!" That was all Miranda needed to kick it into high gear. If _Jack_ was telling her to run then it had to be serious. Unfortunately it was too little; too late as she found herself making close friends with the steel floor with Shepard perched on top of her.

"Tag! You're it!" Miranda froze, her mind momentarily blanking at the sheer ridiculousness of what just happened. Shepard swiftly bounced off and began to run away. Miranda slowly began to rise, her blood boiling. Suddenly, she whirled around to catch sight of Shepard, her voice a loud, still annoyingly sophisticated roar, "SHEPARD!" Shepard and the others all squealed and laughed with glee as they evaded the enraged Miranda.

Just as Miranda was about to tag Jack, a blue biotic pulse sent her flying backwards, landing in a spectacularly ungraceful heap. More laughter could be heard from outside the messy veil her hair had created. Once more Miranda straightened up, only to see Samara enter from her quarters. "Fine, Jack! You wanna play dirty? Then how about this?" With a biotic push Miranda surged towards Samara and slapped her on the back with a reverberating _smack!_ "Tag! You're it!"

Everyone froze. Ticking off the Cerberus cheerleader was one thing, but no one dared to tease the Asari Justicar. Miranda immediately began to regret her actions and began to slowly back away. Samara calmly looked around the room, her face as stoic as always. The room began to fill with a feeling of dread as they all waited for her reaction. Samara delicately cleared her throat before announcing "I believe it is only fair to warn you all that I shall not hold back." And with that she was off, streaking towards the terrified crew members in a blur of blue biotics.

"Great job, Miranda!" shouted a frantic Garrus as he scurried to get out of arms reach of the hell raiser Justicar. Now that biotics were in the game things were going to get a lot tougher. "Jack started it!" Miranda yelled back. Teela could hardly contain her joyous laughter as she ran through and around the grownups legs, making it harder for them to get out of Samara's way.

Soon a hapless Grunt was tagged. He had tripped over the Asari child, but his annoyance at being tagged waned quickly in the face of the chance to be 'it'. "Finally! Now _I_ can take someone down!" he said. He began rolling his neck and shoulders, "Who thinks themselves a worthy enough opponent to evade me?" he bellowed. With a heavy stomp, Grunt began to sprint forwards gaining momentum.

"He won't just tag us, he'll crush us!" declared a horrified Thane. "Go, go, go!" shouted Shepard. They scooted out of the way just in time for Grunt to run straight into the wall, leaving a sizable dent. "I will destroy you!" Grunt shouted as he turned and prepared to charge again.


End file.
